oneplanetmikey


We hope he can because he definately couldn’t.
January 20, 2009, 5:48 pm
Filed under: George W. Bush, Politics, USA | Tags:

After eight inglorious years the failed presidency of  George Bush Jr is limping to its sorry end.

And about time too.

In just a little over ten hours W43 will be on a plane back to Crawford Texas where, if the good woman Laura has any sense of sense and honesty, she will have to tell Junior that he fucked it up good and proper.  And if she loved him, she would also hand over a bar of Solvol to remove the blood from his hands.

And what an end.

Replaced by his political antithesis, W43 even had the temerity to honour Australia’s man of turd with a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Pass the barf bag dear, Mother’s is not feeling well.

While it is not usually oneplanetmikey policy to wish politicians well I feel justifiably compelled to wish Barak Obama all the best.  And really, he couldn’t possibly fuck it up any more than Junior.

However I would at this exciting hour remind readers to stay calm.  Change does not happen overnight and Obama has inherited a desiccated economy, world wide hatred of his nation and not one, but two wars.

Obama will most definitely have his work cut out for him.

And readers, I would also suggest that the election of an African American to the presidency is not that great a leap forward.  The US has, for many years, practiced equal opportunity.  God knows they have the intellectually disabled running the country for the past eight.

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I have forgiven America!
November 5, 2008, 6:07 am
Filed under: Barak Obama, Election, George W. Bush, Politics, USA

Dear USA,

My apologies for hating you over the past eight years.  It was simply because you elected a very bad man to the most powerful office in the world.  I know that the first time you didn’t really elect him.  It was the hanging chads and the dodgy Floridian Secretary of State that sealed Al Gore’s fate.

And I know that in 2004 you were worried about the shirt lifters and muff munchers getting married, and that is why you re-elected him.

This year though, I thought that the democrats were doomed because you were presented with choices I thought were un-electable.

But no.  You saw the light and today you elected Barak Obama.  A man who half an hour ago moved me to tears, with his passion, warmth and inclusion.

Now the expectations are high; especially high after the very bad man allowed fucked your country.  He sent you to war.  He drove your economy at high speed down the shit-shooter.  He took away your freedoms and imprisoned your spirit. He made me nervous and fearful.  Not of terrorists, but of him.

But today you made up for that.  Today you elected a man who I believed because of his colour was un-electable.

Well done.  I forgive you America.

Now, if that twit on Pensylvania Avenue would just pack up his boxes and go back to his ranch in Texas and admit he was a complete and utter failure (and absolute idiot too), I’d be happy.

Kind regards and with forgiveness,

oneplanetmikey

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Say it ain’t so, Joe!
October 5, 2008, 4:32 am
Filed under: Australia, Election, Politics, Sarah Palin, USA

The number of my embarrassing celebrity crushes continues to rise.  But this time it is real.

OK.  Maybe I am deluded.  Or, turning at an old age.  But I seriously LOVE SARAH PALIN.

Is it the glasses?  Is it her folksy charm?  Is it my desire to eat moose burgers for breakfast?  Or is it her ability to look into a camera and speak to me, oneplanetmikey, right here in Melbourne.

I don’t understand.  But I am touched in a way that I haven’t been touched since I touched myself when I had my crush on Tony Abbott.

Say it ain’t so.

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Sarah Palin and Brandine Spuckler are the same person!
September 4, 2008, 4:39 am
Filed under: Election, Politics, USA | Tags: , ,

The first image is that of Brandine Spuckler, one of the hillbilly characters on The Simpsons.  The secod image is that of Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska and now US Vice Presidential cadidate.  Oh shit, hang on! 

Please forgive my confusion because the similarities are overwhelming.  After all, Brandine Spuckler is mother to; Brandine, Gummy Sue, Tiffany, Andie, Gordon, Lizzie, Jackson, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Rubella Scabies, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Condoleezza Marie, Phil, Birthday, Crystal Meth, Dubya, Incest, International Harvester, Jitney, Witney, Mary and Stabbed in Jail. 

While Governor Palin is mother to; Piper, Willow, Bristol, Track and Trig. 

Palin’s husband Todd has twice been a member of an Alaskan sessionist party.  While Cletus Spuckler, a good family man if ever there was one, lists his hobbies as;  ‘whittling “piney babies” for children, searching for roadkill,  digging through garbage, and spending time with everyone in his family.’  Palin’s future son-in-law proudly staes on his myspace page that he is a ‘proud redbneck’.   She herself is a member of the NRA.

In all seriousness, what on earth possessed Senator John McCain to choose Governor Palin as his running mate?  She appears to be far more conservative than the Republican nominee himself is, and has publicly stated that she disapproves of abortion, supports capital punishment, believes polar bears are not edangered, and that drilling for oil in the Artic should be allowed. 

I suspect Senator McCain chose Palin in a cynical effort to woo the 30 per cent of Hillary Clinton voters who do not support Obama.  Unfortuntely he chose the wrong woman.  Senator Clinton has said that she put 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling.  Sarah Palin may just be the sillicon sealant that holds it together for a decade or more.

For really good comment, read the comment from my esteemed friend George.  He makes much more sense than I.

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Westboro Baptist Church; broke and going to hell.
November 1, 2007, 6:03 am
Filed under: Gay, Homophobia, Homosexuality, Iraq, Law, USA, Westboro Baptist Church

My favourite homophobes - the idiotic butt-fuckers from the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas –  were today ordered to pay damages of $AUD 11.7 million for protesting at a US soldier’s funeral. 

In reporting the story, The Brisbane Times Online wrote that ”Church members said Lance Corporal Matthew Snyder’s death was God’s punishment of America for tolerating homosexuality. They attended his 2006 funeral in Maryland with signs saying ‘You’re going to hell’ and ‘God hates you’.”

Right!  How entirely sensible. 

If the Westboro mob really wanted to make a statement, they should have protested against George Bush and his evil intentions; rather than blaming the shirt-lifters and cock suckers for the ongoing atrocity in the Middle East. 

As my dear old mum always told me - It is hard to say fighting words when you have a cock in your mouth. 

Actually, I find this story delightfully funny, beacuse the seventy or so members of the Westboro Brokist Church will now be as poor as…err, church mice.   

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