Filed under: ALP, Australia, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Malcolm Turnbull, Politics, Tony Abbott
The election of Tony Abbott shows that the Liberal Party is in need of anti-psychotic medication, or at the very least, a good dose of salts.
Cardinal Abbott certainly has his work cut out for him, with the Mad Monk winning by just one vote. His margin and mandate massive, with Fran Bailey absent and one confused soul scribbling “no” on the ballot paper.
Tis no surprise Sloppy Joe failed to make the second round of voting. Once he decided to give the party room a conscience vote, the lunar right was always going to go just that little bit more crack-a-dog than they already were. Woof, woof they won! And now they have a bone, or more accurately, bonehead.
This is, however, a fantastic win for the left. The ETS will be voted down in grand scale and it will give Krudd an opportunity to call that most rare of elections, the A-Bomb that is the double dissolution. Labor will romp home and face a rubble of right-wingers no bigger that a cricket team. Better still, they won’t even come close to winning the Senate. Even with a massively reduced quota, there won’t be a Democrat to pour the drinks and there certainly will not be learning-disabled Senator Steve, the dimwitted and cretinous Family Fist member who rode to office on Labor Preferences. Krudd and his cronies, having had to deal with the home-schooled Fielding for the past two years, certainly won’t be making that mistake again.
The red of the Senate will be decidedly green, and every single piece of legislation will have to be run past Senator Bob.
As for Abbott, his vainglorious attempts to throw his rosaries around the ovaries of the women of Australia will fail. He appeals neither to gay, granny nor girl and will be remembered as the Liberal leader that made J. Winston Howard look like a socialist.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Economics, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Politics
For the past four weeks at 8.30 pm on Mondays, I have settled down with a glass in my hand to watch the ABC TV doco, The Howard Years.
I now have post traumatic stress disorder.
I had forgotten.
Watching The Howard Years, I was amazed how my reaction to it was so similar as to when I watched the original series of The Office. This was because I found it difficult to watch both programmes while cowering under the doona and screaming obscenities at the tele.
(Readers, my reaction to The Office was because at that time I worked in an office with a man who acted like David Brent, and worse still; looked like David Brent. I assure you, I am not some sort of nut job that yells at inanimate objects. OK, parked cars parked illegally and only occasionally. That’s it).
Fran Kelly, you are a bitch! You made me remember Abbott and Costello, and Wretch – err Reith and even the poor old, dimwitted Bronwyn Bishop.
Now living under the glorious socialism of Kev il Sung, I had become accustomed to politics where at least lip service had been paid to social policy.
Twelve months on and Brother Kevin is doing better that the Evil Man ever did, but Brother Kev could do so much more.
He is from the exact same mold as deposed despot, J. Winston Howard Esq. Look at the stimulus package; jackpots for pensioners and those lucky enough to be able to claim family Tax Benefit A.
I think I am going to have to claim a Family Tax Benefit A too. I wonder of the Government will accept Penfolds and Tanqueray as my dependents.
When the meanest man in Australian history was knifed by the Australian public on that glorious Saturday in November, I was overjoyed.
I wept, I drank and I passed out.
However no matter how happy I was, I had always suspected that one day far too soon that my disillusion with the conservative Kevin07 would soon manifest itself once again in tele-temper, where I would start yelling and swearing at the TV.
On Saturday 30 May 2008, after a six month remission, I succumbed.
After a flying start, apologising to our Indiginous brothers and sisters and reigniting the republican debate, I began to suspect Mr Rudd wasn’t quite as conservative as I had feared. I was wrong.
Australian political debate in now marred in the quagmire of ’super or unleaded’.
That’s right folks, we are stuck talking about measures that will save the average punter less than one hundred bucks a year, while hitting top gear as we propel ourselves headfirst into environmental oblivion. Great!
It gets better though. In the recent budget, money earmarked for employment services was reduced by $500 million bucks. (I bet Therese ain’t too happy about that). If Australia is to be a fully inclusive society – and they keep palavering on about wanting a nicer, more comfortable and relaxed Auastralia, then that money needs to be spent in getting the long-term jobless into work. Not continuing the meanness of Howard’s rock painting Work for the Dole scheme.
What can I say? I told me so.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Indiginous Australians, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Politics, Reconciliation, Sorry
I have been profoundly moved by today’s apology to the Stolen Generations. This is because I am sorry too.
I cried as Kevin Rudd stood at the dispatch box on the floor of the House and uttered these words;
“We apologise especially for the removal of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children from their families, their communities and their country.
“For the pain, suffering and hurt of these stolen generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry.
“To the mothers and the fathers, the brothers and the sisters, for the breaking up of families and communities, we say sorry.
“And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry.”
And unlike his predecessor John Howard, Kevin Rudd didn’t struggle with the word sorry. He shone.
And by looking at the faces of the Ministers and Backbenchers in the photograph below, you can tell how powerful the 361 word apology was. It easily beats John Winston Howard’s ‘practical reconcilation’ and is perhaps the most powerful symbolic gesture I have ever witnessed.
And while gestures will not heal the hurt and right past wrongs, they can change the landscape in which we live. And today, the landscape in which we live, changed.
But for the apology to really work and for us to live this reconciliation, we need to make our actions meet with our words. We need to continue to embrace our Indigenous brothers and sisters.
Finally, and on a personal note; my desire to be invited to John Howard’s house was never stronger than it was this morning. This is because I really wanted to watch the mean man choke on his corn flakes. And it would have been simply lovely because I do not have a first aid certificate.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, David Hicks, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
Twelve months ago I had no hope. John Winston was firmly entrenched on the Prime Ministerial Chesterfield, David Hicks was locked in a cage, and George W. Bush was the president of the USA. OK, I wasn’t wrong on the last part but, in the course of twelve months Australia got a new government, David Hicks was released and I got my grove back.
This is just a quick post, written in an internet Cafe in Brisbane, to wish my readers a Happy New Year and to say never give up hope. The world turns quickly and so can we.
And if you are in Melbourne on NYE, come up and say hello. I’ll be the dude dancin’ like a demon at the Market.
The meanest man in Australian politics is gone! Long live Kevin.
And long may former Prime Minister John Howard continue to suffer the misery of his crushing defeat.
That the rodent has also been booted from Bennelong makes Kevin Rudd’s stunning victory, the sweetest defeat of all.
Howard’s poor showing in the seat that he had claimed for 33 years is vindication for all us proud Howard haters. The fact that the sitting Prime Minister was not returned to parliament is quite remarkable and almost makes me question my long held atheism.
But there are reasons aplenty. Many a member of the commenteriat has blamed Howard’s hubris and the folly of staying on long past the Prime Ministerial use by date. But I would suggest that it was the lies, the children overboard and the embracing of Hansonism but without the mean words, that sealed his fate.
And what a legacy it is. Howard has left a party in tatters, with not even the heir-apparent willing to sift through the ashes and wait for his electoral doom. The former Prime Minister in his concession speech claimed to love the Liberal Party. But today I would suggest many a member would not be feeling so charitable towards him, for he has left them with an ultra-conservative party that will take years to recover.
Look at the Tories in Britain and you will see a future vision of the Australian Liberal Party; disunited and un-electable.
Mr Howard, for what you have done to the conservative side of politics in Australia, you have my admiration. For what you have done while Prime Minister, you have my contempt.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
I have been dreaming about November 24, 2007 since March 1996.
And now, as the worst government in Australian history draws its final breath, I can happily breathe a sigh of relief. It is over, our nightmare endeth.
Saturday November 24, will be Howard’s end. His legacy; one of shame. Australia’s legacy; one of deep regret.
There are so many reasons to hate Howard. I would nominate his shameful antics and blatant lies of the 2001 election as his bitterest, blackest moment.
The children overboard scandal and the heartlessness Tampa will ensure that Howard is forever remembered as a lying, mean man.
Many of the things that Howard has done cannot be undone. Rudd maybe able to tinker around the edges of many of Howard’s more draconian pieces of legislation, but his attack on Australian culture will take years to repair.
Howard’s culture war will be remembered as one of his most vile acts. This is because he tried to turn Australia into something that it was not and could never be. He tried to make us mean.
And with the election of an ALP government tomorrow, we have the opportunity to remake our country. We have the opportunity to embrace change and be welcoming and open.
We have the opportunity to shine. Don’t fuck it up Australia, don’t fuck it up.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Election, Family, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Politics
A lot has been said about family values in this election; most of it nauseating. But having listened to both J-Ho and K-Rudd, it is obvious that families are the glue that holds Australia together. So today I write in support of the Australian family. In all its glory.I’d particularly like to say hello and make special mention to all the people living in abusive, violent and, drug and alcohol affected families. They are especially wonderful families and intsill great values in children. To the heads of these households I say ‘Keep up the good work. Your contribution to the social fabric of Australia has not gone un-noticed.’
To any shirtlifting or clit licking families out there, I am sorry you are not a family and I cannot say hello to you. If you didn’t do the things you do when you love the one you do, you’d be a family and be allowed to marry and raise your children in drug and alcohol affected families too.
And to my blood-family who will probably not read this, I say hello. I would like them to know that because we only have drunks and potheads, we are an ideal family and are better than most other families; particularly those families that consist of two people of the same sex.
To my other family, I hate to admit that we are not a traditional family. This is because we do not live together and our family values are different from mainstream family values. We also suck or lick inappropriate bits of people of the same sex.
So hip, hip hooray and hello to the great Australian family.
Please readers, when you and your family go to vote, make sure that you vote for the party that will stand up for your family in Parliament.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
I seem to have developed election Tourette’s because I cannot stop swearing whenever the leaders appear on tele.
I can smell death. Delightfully, it is the rotting corpse of John Winston Howard – he who has ruled with an iron fist and dubious morality for eleven-and-a-half, long fucking years.
Howard was on the ABC’s Insiders’ yesterday, and he seemed unsure, stumbling even. He was not the confident, evil little man who has dominated Australian politics for more than a decade. He was the man renovating his house in Wolstencraft, Sydney; the one he and Janette are moving into on November 25.
Where once Howard appeared cagey, he now seems vague.
Where once he appeared to be the battlers’ friend, he now presents as exceptionally mean-spirited, trumpeting the triumphs of WorkChoices for Australian business.
Howard seems to have lost the plot and is doing himself no favours with his continual, rancid attack on Australian Unions. Senility seems to have erased the simple fact that 1.8 million Australians are members of a union. This, and his industrial devolution must be pissing off a lot of people.
I am pissed off. But then, I have been crotchety since March 1996.
They say revenge is a dish best served cold. I am only too happy that Howard is about to get the chilliest blast of Antarctic electoral revenge ever.
Time to go and tend the grandchildren son.
Time to go.
