Poor old Malcolm. He probably doesn’t know if he is Trishna or Krishna today.
And who could blame him. The poor bugger has been stabbed in the back so may times he is leaking supporters like a rusty colander.
Let’s look at the bit players shall we. First cab off the rank is senate nutter Nick Minchin. The steely-eyed hawk has been eyeballing the stay-sharp for months and doing his very best ‘I’m not Henny Penny’ imaginable.
Please step up to the pulpit Cardinal Abbott. Big ears conveniently resigns from the front bench over a “policy issue,” to just twenty-four hours later throw his hat into the three-ringed circus in a vain and futile attempt to be elected to be chief clown.
But if Malcolm is looking to blame anyone he look no further that the mate he sought sage counsel from, John W. Howard. The meanest one created this mess by failing to groom a successor and anoint the smirker. Howard left his unholy “church” to themselves.
The siring of Howard’s new conservatism, by mating the radical rights with the liberal fillies, was always going to produce a bastard child. And what a bastard it is; intellectually corrupt and morally bankrupt, the Libs are doomed to roam the streets of opposition for a generation.
But the funniest thing is they have done this over a piece of legislation so worthless, so useless, so planet destroying – it deserved to be voted down by the the timid and weak Labor caucus.
But of course the Labor caucus is as vacant and as useless as the Tories.
We don’t get the politicians we deserve. But we do elect the ones we’ve got. -
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Economics, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Politics
For the past four weeks at 8.30 pm on Mondays, I have settled down with a glass in my hand to watch the ABC TV doco, The Howard Years.
I now have post traumatic stress disorder.
I had forgotten.
Watching The Howard Years, I was amazed how my reaction to it was so similar as to when I watched the original series of The Office. This was because I found it difficult to watch both programmes while cowering under the doona and screaming obscenities at the tele.
(Readers, my reaction to The Office was because at that time I worked in an office with a man who acted like David Brent, and worse still; looked like David Brent. I assure you, I am not some sort of nut job that yells at inanimate objects. OK, parked cars parked illegally and only occasionally. That’s it).
Fran Kelly, you are a bitch! You made me remember Abbott and Costello, and Wretch – err Reith and even the poor old, dimwitted Bronwyn Bishop.
Now living under the glorious socialism of Kev il Sung, I had become accustomed to politics where at least lip service had been paid to social policy.
Twelve months on and Brother Kevin is doing better that the Evil Man ever did, but Brother Kev could do so much more.
He is from the exact same mold as deposed despot, J. Winston Howard Esq. Look at the stimulus package; jackpots for pensioners and those lucky enough to be able to claim family Tax Benefit A.
I think I am going to have to claim a Family Tax Benefit A too. I wonder of the Government will accept Penfolds and Tanqueray as my dependents.
When the meanest man in Australian history was knifed by the Australian public on that glorious Saturday in November, I was overjoyed.
I wept, I drank and I passed out.
However no matter how happy I was, I had always suspected that one day far too soon that my disillusion with the conservative Kevin07 would soon manifest itself once again in tele-temper, where I would start yelling and swearing at the TV.
On Saturday 30 May 2008, after a six month remission, I succumbed.
After a flying start, apologising to our Indiginous brothers and sisters and reigniting the republican debate, I began to suspect Mr Rudd wasn’t quite as conservative as I had feared. I was wrong.
Australian political debate in now marred in the quagmire of ’super or unleaded’.
That’s right folks, we are stuck talking about measures that will save the average punter less than one hundred bucks a year, while hitting top gear as we propel ourselves headfirst into environmental oblivion. Great!
It gets better though. In the recent budget, money earmarked for employment services was reduced by $500 million bucks. (I bet Therese ain’t too happy about that). If Australia is to be a fully inclusive society – and they keep palavering on about wanting a nicer, more comfortable and relaxed Auastralia, then that money needs to be spent in getting the long-term jobless into work. Not continuing the meanness of Howard’s rock painting Work for the Dole scheme.
What can I say? I told me so.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Indiginous Australians, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Politics, Reconciliation, Sorry
I have been profoundly moved by today’s apology to the Stolen Generations. This is because I am sorry too.
I cried as Kevin Rudd stood at the dispatch box on the floor of the House and uttered these words;
“We apologise especially for the removal of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children from their families, their communities and their country.
“For the pain, suffering and hurt of these stolen generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry.
“To the mothers and the fathers, the brothers and the sisters, for the breaking up of families and communities, we say sorry.
“And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry.”
And unlike his predecessor John Howard, Kevin Rudd didn’t struggle with the word sorry. He shone.
And by looking at the faces of the Ministers and Backbenchers in the photograph below, you can tell how powerful the 361 word apology was. It easily beats John Winston Howard’s ‘practical reconcilation’ and is perhaps the most powerful symbolic gesture I have ever witnessed.
And while gestures will not heal the hurt and right past wrongs, they can change the landscape in which we live. And today, the landscape in which we live, changed.
But for the apology to really work and for us to live this reconciliation, we need to make our actions meet with our words. We need to continue to embrace our Indigenous brothers and sisters.
Finally, and on a personal note; my desire to be invited to John Howard’s house was never stronger than it was this morning. This is because I really wanted to watch the mean man choke on his corn flakes. And it would have been simply lovely because I do not have a first aid certificate.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, David Hicks, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
Twelve months ago I had no hope. John Winston was firmly entrenched on the Prime Ministerial Chesterfield, David Hicks was locked in a cage, and George W. Bush was the president of the USA. OK, I wasn’t wrong on the last part but, in the course of twelve months Australia got a new government, David Hicks was released and I got my grove back.
This is just a quick post, written in an internet Cafe in Brisbane, to wish my readers a Happy New Year and to say never give up hope. The world turns quickly and so can we.
And if you are in Melbourne on NYE, come up and say hello. I’ll be the dude dancin’ like a demon at the Market.
The meanest man in Australian politics is gone! Long live Kevin.
And long may former Prime Minister John Howard continue to suffer the misery of his crushing defeat.
That the rodent has also been booted from Bennelong makes Kevin Rudd’s stunning victory, the sweetest defeat of all.
Howard’s poor showing in the seat that he had claimed for 33 years is vindication for all us proud Howard haters. The fact that the sitting Prime Minister was not returned to parliament is quite remarkable and almost makes me question my long held atheism.
But there are reasons aplenty. Many a member of the commenteriat has blamed Howard’s hubris and the folly of staying on long past the Prime Ministerial use by date. But I would suggest that it was the lies, the children overboard and the embracing of Hansonism but without the mean words, that sealed his fate.
And what a legacy it is. Howard has left a party in tatters, with not even the heir-apparent willing to sift through the ashes and wait for his electoral doom. The former Prime Minister in his concession speech claimed to love the Liberal Party. But today I would suggest many a member would not be feeling so charitable towards him, for he has left them with an ultra-conservative party that will take years to recover.
Look at the Tories in Britain and you will see a future vision of the Australian Liberal Party; disunited and un-electable.
Mr Howard, for what you have done to the conservative side of politics in Australia, you have my admiration. For what you have done while Prime Minister, you have my contempt.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
I have been dreaming about November 24, 2007 since March 1996.
And now, as the worst government in Australian history draws its final breath, I can happily breathe a sigh of relief. It is over, our nightmare endeth.
Saturday November 24, will be Howard’s end. His legacy; one of shame. Australia’s legacy; one of deep regret.
There are so many reasons to hate Howard. I would nominate his shameful antics and blatant lies of the 2001 election as his bitterest, blackest moment.
The children overboard scandal and the heartlessness Tampa will ensure that Howard is forever remembered as a lying, mean man.
Many of the things that Howard has done cannot be undone. Rudd maybe able to tinker around the edges of many of Howard’s more draconian pieces of legislation, but his attack on Australian culture will take years to repair.
Howard’s culture war will be remembered as one of his most vile acts. This is because he tried to turn Australia into something that it was not and could never be. He tried to make us mean.
And with the election of an ALP government tomorrow, we have the opportunity to remake our country. We have the opportunity to embrace change and be welcoming and open.
We have the opportunity to shine. Don’t fuck it up Australia, don’t fuck it up.
Filed under: Anna Coren, Australia, Election, John Howard, Media, Peter Costello, Politics
The living dead interviewed Australia’s Dead Men Walking last night, when television’s finest autocue reader Anna Coren, sat down and embarrassed herself by speaking to the soon to be former prime minister J-Ho, and his annointed successor, opposition leader designate, Peter Costello.
In what could only be described as an advertorial for the Liberal Party, Coren asked all the hard questions about their political marriage and about their good working relationship. Cretin’s soft questioning about their relationship elicited these responses;
PETER COSTELLO: He has the most amazing work ethic that I’ve ever seen. You know, he can work 16, 17 hours a day and then get up and go walking again at 6am in the morning.
JOHN HOWARD: I like Peter as a bloke. He’s a very bright; I mean he’s a seriously intelligent person. And he’s also very funny. I mean, Peter’s got a natural talent for wit and humour, which is much greater than mine, I’m lousy at telling jokes. You disagree on things and you get cranky about it and say, you know, blah blah blah, but that…
PETER COSTELLO: I like Holdens, he likes Fords.
JOHN HOWARD: Yeah, he barracks for the Essendon Bombers and (inaudible) St George Illawarra Dragons.
So much wanking, so little journalism.
Great work Anna. With incisive questioning like that you’ll be able to get a job doing the advertorials on 9am with David and Kim next year. You are certainly going to need a job because it will be a miracle if your contract on Today Tonight is renewed.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Election, Family, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Politics
A lot has been said about family values in this election; most of it nauseating. But having listened to both J-Ho and K-Rudd, it is obvious that families are the glue that holds Australia together. So today I write in support of the Australian family. In all its glory.I’d particularly like to say hello and make special mention to all the people living in abusive, violent and, drug and alcohol affected families. They are especially wonderful families and intsill great values in children. To the heads of these households I say ‘Keep up the good work. Your contribution to the social fabric of Australia has not gone un-noticed.’
To any shirtlifting or clit licking families out there, I am sorry you are not a family and I cannot say hello to you. If you didn’t do the things you do when you love the one you do, you’d be a family and be allowed to marry and raise your children in drug and alcohol affected families too.
And to my blood-family who will probably not read this, I say hello. I would like them to know that because we only have drunks and potheads, we are an ideal family and are better than most other families; particularly those families that consist of two people of the same sex.
To my other family, I hate to admit that we are not a traditional family. This is because we do not live together and our family values are different from mainstream family values. We also suck or lick inappropriate bits of people of the same sex.
So hip, hip hooray and hello to the great Australian family.
Please readers, when you and your family go to vote, make sure that you vote for the party that will stand up for your family in Parliament.
I seem to have lost the election jackpot.
I am not an Orangutang.
I am not married and my only dependent is Penfold’s.
I’d like to save the planet now.
I don’t want or need a $20 per week tax cut.
I’d like people on welfare to be better taken care of.
I’d like to see the government put anti-psychotic medication in the water because they refuse to fix the psychiatric hospital system in Australia.
I’d like to see refugees be given the chance to shine and come out from behind the walls of immigration detention.
I’d like to see WorkChoice abolished.
I’d like us to say sorry to the Indigenous people who were stolen.
I’d like the arts to embraced.
I’d like to see the ABC better funded.
I’d like to see a Royal Commission into the Howard Government’s complicity in the invasion of Iraq.
I’d like to see Labor do better.
