Filed under: ALP, Australia, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Malcolm Turnbull, Politics, Tony Abbott
The election of Tony Abbott shows that the Liberal Party is in need of anti-psychotic medication, or at the very least, a good dose of salts.
Cardinal Abbott certainly has his work cut out for him, with the Mad Monk winning by just one vote. His margin and mandate massive, with Fran Bailey absent and one confused soul scribbling “no” on the ballot paper.
Tis no surprise Sloppy Joe failed to make the second round of voting. Once he decided to give the party room a conscience vote, the lunar right was always going to go just that little bit more crack-a-dog than they already were. Woof, woof they won! And now they have a bone, or more accurately, bonehead.
This is, however, a fantastic win for the left. The ETS will be voted down in grand scale and it will give Krudd an opportunity to call that most rare of elections, the A-Bomb that is the double dissolution. Labor will romp home and face a rubble of right-wingers no bigger that a cricket team. Better still, they won’t even come close to winning the Senate. Even with a massively reduced quota, there won’t be a Democrat to pour the drinks and there certainly will not be learning-disabled Senator Steve, the dimwitted and cretinous Family Fist member who rode to office on Labor Preferences. Krudd and his cronies, having had to deal with the home-schooled Fielding for the past two years, certainly won’t be making that mistake again.
The red of the Senate will be decidedly green, and every single piece of legislation will have to be run past Senator Bob.
As for Abbott, his vainglorious attempts to throw his rosaries around the ovaries of the women of Australia will fail. He appeals neither to gay, granny nor girl and will be remembered as the Liberal leader that made J. Winston Howard look like a socialist.
Poor old Malcolm. He probably doesn’t know if he is Trishna or Krishna today.
And who could blame him. The poor bugger has been stabbed in the back so may times he is leaking supporters like a rusty colander.
Let’s look at the bit players shall we. First cab off the rank is senate nutter Nick Minchin. The steely-eyed hawk has been eyeballing the stay-sharp for months and doing his very best ‘I’m not Henny Penny’ imaginable.
Please step up to the pulpit Cardinal Abbott. Big ears conveniently resigns from the front bench over a “policy issue,” to just twenty-four hours later throw his hat into the three-ringed circus in a vain and futile attempt to be elected to be chief clown.
But if Malcolm is looking to blame anyone he look no further that the mate he sought sage counsel from, John W. Howard. The meanest one created this mess by failing to groom a successor and anoint the smirker. Howard left his unholy “church” to themselves.
The siring of Howard’s new conservatism, by mating the radical rights with the liberal fillies, was always going to produce a bastard child. And what a bastard it is; intellectually corrupt and morally bankrupt, the Libs are doomed to roam the streets of opposition for a generation.
But the funniest thing is they have done this over a piece of legislation so worthless, so useless, so planet destroying – it deserved to be voted down by the the timid and weak Labor caucus.
But of course the Labor caucus is as vacant and as useless as the Tories.
We don’t get the politicians we deserve. But we do elect the ones we’ve got. -
WORST PotUS EVER!
The worst thing about the shoe-throwing incident was the timing and choice of shoe. It should have been done years ago and with a bloody great big stiletto!
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Economics, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Politics
For the past four weeks at 8.30 pm on Mondays, I have settled down with a glass in my hand to watch the ABC TV doco, The Howard Years.
I now have post traumatic stress disorder.
I had forgotten.
Watching The Howard Years, I was amazed how my reaction to it was so similar as to when I watched the original series of The Office. This was because I found it difficult to watch both programmes while cowering under the doona and screaming obscenities at the tele.
(Readers, my reaction to The Office was because at that time I worked in an office with a man who acted like David Brent, and worse still; looked like David Brent. I assure you, I am not some sort of nut job that yells at inanimate objects. OK, parked cars parked illegally and only occasionally. That’s it).
Fran Kelly, you are a bitch! You made me remember Abbott and Costello, and Wretch – err Reith and even the poor old, dimwitted Bronwyn Bishop.
Now living under the glorious socialism of Kev il Sung, I had become accustomed to politics where at least lip service had been paid to social policy.
Twelve months on and Brother Kevin is doing better that the Evil Man ever did, but Brother Kev could do so much more.
He is from the exact same mold as deposed despot, J. Winston Howard Esq. Look at the stimulus package; jackpots for pensioners and those lucky enough to be able to claim family Tax Benefit A.
I think I am going to have to claim a Family Tax Benefit A too. I wonder of the Government will accept Penfolds and Tanqueray as my dependents.
The number of my embarrassing celebrity crushes continues to rise. But this time it is real.
OK. Maybe I am deluded. Or, turning at an old age. But I seriously LOVE SARAH PALIN.
Is it the glasses? Is it her folksy charm? Is it my desire to eat moose burgers for breakfast? Or is it her ability to look into a camera and speak to me, oneplanetmikey, right here in Melbourne.
I don’t understand. But I am touched in a way that I haven’t been touched since I touched myself when I had my crush on Tony Abbott.
Say it ain’t so.
Morris Iemma, the worst premier in Australia has resigned. In what is undoubtedly good news for the people of New South Wales and the governing Labor Party, members of the NSW right have tapped him on the shoulder. And about time too. You can’t have a political carcass leading the state and expect to be re-elected in two and a half years time. 
Either Nathan Rees or Carmel Tebbutt is expected to be annoited leader of the Parliamentary Labor Party, but whoever takes the reins will reek of the pong of political incompetence for quite some time.
The really interesting thing is that Rees is non-aligned and Tebbutt is from the left. This means the once vice-like grip the right had on Labor Party politics in NSW is now starting to wane.
Who said rigor mortis made you stiff.
Filed under: Election, Politics, USA | Tags: Brandine Spuckler, John McCain, Sarah Palin
The first image is that of Brandine Spuckler, one of the hillbilly characters on The Simpsons. The secod image is that of Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska and now US Vice Presidential cadidate. Oh shit, hang on!
Please forgive my confusion because the similarities are overwhelming. After all, Brandine Spuckler is mother to; Brandine, Gummy Sue, Tiffany, Andie, Gordon, Lizzie, Jackson, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Rubella Scabies, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Condoleezza Marie, Phil, Birthday, Crystal Meth, Dubya, Incest, International Harvester, Jitney, Witney, Mary and Stabbed in Jail.
While Governor Palin is mother to; Piper, Willow, Bristol, Track and Trig.
Palin’s husband Todd has twice been a member of an Alaskan sessionist party. While Cletus Spuckler, a good family man if ever there was one, lists his hobbies as; ‘whittling “piney babies” for children, searching for roadkill, digging through garbage, and spending time with everyone in his family.’ Palin’s future son-in-law proudly staes on his myspace page that he is a ‘proud redbneck’. She herself is a member of the NRA.
In all seriousness, what on earth possessed Senator John McCain to choose Governor Palin as his running mate? She appears to be far more conservative than the Republican nominee himself is, and has publicly stated that she disapproves of abortion, supports capital punishment, believes polar bears are not edangered, and that drilling for oil in the Artic should be allowed.
I suspect Senator McCain chose Palin in a cynical effort to woo the 30 per cent of Hillary Clinton voters who do not support Obama. Unfortuntely he chose the wrong woman. Senator Clinton has said that she put 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling. Sarah Palin may just be the sillicon sealant that holds it together for a decade or more.
For really good comment, read the comment from my esteemed friend George. He makes much more sense than I.
When the meanest man in Australian history was knifed by the Australian public on that glorious Saturday in November, I was overjoyed.
I wept, I drank and I passed out.
However no matter how happy I was, I had always suspected that one day far too soon that my disillusion with the conservative Kevin07 would soon manifest itself once again in tele-temper, where I would start yelling and swearing at the TV.
On Saturday 30 May 2008, after a six month remission, I succumbed.
After a flying start, apologising to our Indiginous brothers and sisters and reigniting the republican debate, I began to suspect Mr Rudd wasn’t quite as conservative as I had feared. I was wrong.
Australian political debate in now marred in the quagmire of ’super or unleaded’.
That’s right folks, we are stuck talking about measures that will save the average punter less than one hundred bucks a year, while hitting top gear as we propel ourselves headfirst into environmental oblivion. Great!
It gets better though. In the recent budget, money earmarked for employment services was reduced by $500 million bucks. (I bet Therese ain’t too happy about that). If Australia is to be a fully inclusive society – and they keep palavering on about wanting a nicer, more comfortable and relaxed Auastralia, then that money needs to be spent in getting the long-term jobless into work. Not continuing the meanness of Howard’s rock painting Work for the Dole scheme.
What can I say? I told me so.
