Filed under: ALP, Australia, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Malcolm Turnbull, Politics, Tony Abbott
The election of Tony Abbott shows that the Liberal Party is in need of anti-psychotic medication, or at the very least, a good dose of salts.
Cardinal Abbott certainly has his work cut out for him, with the Mad Monk winning by just one vote. His margin and mandate massive, with Fran Bailey absent and one confused soul scribbling “no” on the ballot paper.
Tis no surprise Sloppy Joe failed to make the second round of voting. Once he decided to give the party room a conscience vote, the lunar right was always going to go just that little bit more crack-a-dog than they already were. Woof, woof they won! And now they have a bone, or more accurately, bonehead.
This is, however, a fantastic win for the left. The ETS will be voted down in grand scale and it will give Krudd an opportunity to call that most rare of elections, the A-Bomb that is the double dissolution. Labor will romp home and face a rubble of right-wingers no bigger that a cricket team. Better still, they won’t even come close to winning the Senate. Even with a massively reduced quota, there won’t be a Democrat to pour the drinks and there certainly will not be learning-disabled Senator Steve, the dimwitted and cretinous Family Fist member who rode to office on Labor Preferences. Krudd and his cronies, having had to deal with the home-schooled Fielding for the past two years, certainly won’t be making that mistake again.
The red of the Senate will be decidedly green, and every single piece of legislation will have to be run past Senator Bob.
As for Abbott, his vainglorious attempts to throw his rosaries around the ovaries of the women of Australia will fail. He appeals neither to gay, granny nor girl and will be remembered as the Liberal leader that made J. Winston Howard look like a socialist.
Poor old Malcolm. He probably doesn’t know if he is Trishna or Krishna today.
And who could blame him. The poor bugger has been stabbed in the back so may times he is leaking supporters like a rusty colander.
Let’s look at the bit players shall we. First cab off the rank is senate nutter Nick Minchin. The steely-eyed hawk has been eyeballing the stay-sharp for months and doing his very best ‘I’m not Henny Penny’ imaginable.
Please step up to the pulpit Cardinal Abbott. Big ears conveniently resigns from the front bench over a “policy issue,” to just twenty-four hours later throw his hat into the three-ringed circus in a vain and futile attempt to be elected to be chief clown.
But if Malcolm is looking to blame anyone he look no further that the mate he sought sage counsel from, John W. Howard. The meanest one created this mess by failing to groom a successor and anoint the smirker. Howard left his unholy “church” to themselves.
The siring of Howard’s new conservatism, by mating the radical rights with the liberal fillies, was always going to produce a bastard child. And what a bastard it is; intellectually corrupt and morally bankrupt, the Libs are doomed to roam the streets of opposition for a generation.
But the funniest thing is they have done this over a piece of legislation so worthless, so useless, so planet destroying – it deserved to be voted down by the the timid and weak Labor caucus.
But of course the Labor caucus is as vacant and as useless as the Tories.
We don’t get the politicians we deserve. But we do elect the ones we’ve got. -
When the meanest man in Australian history was knifed by the Australian public on that glorious Saturday in November, I was overjoyed.
I wept, I drank and I passed out.
However no matter how happy I was, I had always suspected that one day far too soon that my disillusion with the conservative Kevin07 would soon manifest itself once again in tele-temper, where I would start yelling and swearing at the TV.
On Saturday 30 May 2008, after a six month remission, I succumbed.
After a flying start, apologising to our Indiginous brothers and sisters and reigniting the republican debate, I began to suspect Mr Rudd wasn’t quite as conservative as I had feared. I was wrong.
Australian political debate in now marred in the quagmire of ’super or unleaded’.
That’s right folks, we are stuck talking about measures that will save the average punter less than one hundred bucks a year, while hitting top gear as we propel ourselves headfirst into environmental oblivion. Great!
It gets better though. In the recent budget, money earmarked for employment services was reduced by $500 million bucks. (I bet Therese ain’t too happy about that). If Australia is to be a fully inclusive society – and they keep palavering on about wanting a nicer, more comfortable and relaxed Auastralia, then that money needs to be spent in getting the long-term jobless into work. Not continuing the meanness of Howard’s rock painting Work for the Dole scheme.
What can I say? I told me so.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, David Hicks, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
Twelve months ago I had no hope. John Winston was firmly entrenched on the Prime Ministerial Chesterfield, David Hicks was locked in a cage, and George W. Bush was the president of the USA. OK, I wasn’t wrong on the last part but, in the course of twelve months Australia got a new government, David Hicks was released and I got my grove back.
This is just a quick post, written in an internet Cafe in Brisbane, to wish my readers a Happy New Year and to say never give up hope. The world turns quickly and so can we.
And if you are in Melbourne on NYE, come up and say hello. I’ll be the dude dancin’ like a demon at the Market.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
I have been dreaming about November 24, 2007 since March 1996.
And now, as the worst government in Australian history draws its final breath, I can happily breathe a sigh of relief. It is over, our nightmare endeth.
Saturday November 24, will be Howard’s end. His legacy; one of shame. Australia’s legacy; one of deep regret.
There are so many reasons to hate Howard. I would nominate his shameful antics and blatant lies of the 2001 election as his bitterest, blackest moment.
The children overboard scandal and the heartlessness Tampa will ensure that Howard is forever remembered as a lying, mean man.
Many of the things that Howard has done cannot be undone. Rudd maybe able to tinker around the edges of many of Howard’s more draconian pieces of legislation, but his attack on Australian culture will take years to repair.
Howard’s culture war will be remembered as one of his most vile acts. This is because he tried to turn Australia into something that it was not and could never be. He tried to make us mean.
And with the election of an ALP government tomorrow, we have the opportunity to remake our country. We have the opportunity to embrace change and be welcoming and open.
We have the opportunity to shine. Don’t fuck it up Australia, don’t fuck it up.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
I seem to have developed election Tourette’s because I cannot stop swearing whenever the leaders appear on tele.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
The election will be in twenty-five days, and normally by now I would be frothing at the mouth and ranting at all those who will not let me rave at them. However, this election is different.
My contempt for all the major parties, the Democrats and all the pundits who take up valuable column inches remains and increases day by day.
However, having said that I am still wanting a glorious Labor victory. Tis a weird situation to be in, I have no great passion for Mr Rudd, but my hate for Howard remains and increases daily. The Dear Leader looks increasingly old and tired (much like me) and has all the passion of a dehydrated mullet. That meaness said, so does Mr Rudd.
I just hope the latter, JoHo v2, doesn’t fuck it up. I have come to believe that in copying Howard, Labor campaign strategists have devised a campaign tactic that will not scare the horses, and that the glorious socialist revolution will kick off November 25, 2007.
Don’t laugh, I am serious.
With three weeks and five days until the election I can smell the cremated flesh of change.
Put a fork in Howard. He’s done.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
The ALP’s moral compass is askew. No doubt about it. It is totally wonky.
They have provided bipartisan support for pulp mills in Tasmania and intervention in the Northern Territory, and agreed on a referendum which states the bleeding obvious and ignore the fact that previous Australian government’s embarked on a systematic campaign of genocide.
Despicably, we also have the ALP supporting executions in Indonesia.
At this rate of me-too-ism I am almost expecting Kevin Rudd to line up and fuck Janette.
“Me too, me too.”
Sorry!
Forty days to go, and I hate them all.
I want Labor to win, but they don’t deserve to.
I want a socialist revolution, but it will not happen.
I have banned political discussion in the office in case I lose it.
Forty days to go!
