Filed under: ABC, ALP, Australia, Big Brother, Gretel Killeen, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Media, Politics
I have just made a pitch to Chanel Ten for their 2007 federal election telecast. My idea; and yes I admit it is rather radical, is to dispense with voting at polling booths and to have the election conducted entirely by phone poll and SMS voting. After all modern politics is about popularity, not ideas.
I think this radical overhaul of the electoral system will work because politcs is much like the Big Brother House insofar as politicians are thrown in together and must work with people they may not normally associate with, or even hate.
On election night I propose we dispense with Red Kerry on the ABC and get the very capable host of Big Brother, Gretel Killeen to do the count. After padding it out needlessly for a couple of hours, and interviewing both John Howard and Kevin Rudd about their time in the house and what they would have done differently, Gretel can then evict someone.
It’s time to go……….John!
And there we have it; democracy, pop culture and increased participation in the electoral process all rolled into one.
Actually John, just fuck off now.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Election, John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics
Over the weekend I decided that I would assist the ALP in their election chances by coming up with a slogan for their advertising campaign. It’s not ‘It’s Time,’ but it comes pretty bloody close.
This election lets stick those white picket fence posts so far up John Howard’s arse that Janette gets splinters.
If any reader of oneplanetmikey has more please leave a comment and I will post them.
Filed under: ALP, Australia, Industrial Relations, Joe Hockey, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, Liberal, Politics, Therese Rein, WorkChoices
Australia’s Industrial Relations Mminister Joe Hockey, has claimed in a speech that he is not doing well in the polls because he is not as pretty as his opposite number, deputy ALP leader Julia Gillard. Hockey, who later said he was being self-deprecating, made the silly statement after a Morgan poll showed 50 per cent of people believed Gillard would be a better Workplace Relations Mminister to his 31 per cent.
And while he does have a point that she does have an excellent media profile, Mr Hockey forgets that for five years at 7.15am, he and opposition leader Kevin Rudd sparred and bantered on Australia’s top-rating breakfast television programme Sunrise.
But really, it is not because Julia Gillard has a media profile, the real reason that he and the Liberals are behind in the polls are because they are trying to sell a turd to the Australian people. And a turd, even a highly polished one, is still a turd as Kevin Rudd’s misguided wife Therese Rein has just discovered.
After several years of complaining that public transport in Victoria is not fit for transporting the public let alone Jews to Austwich; I discovered on the weekend that it is good for one thing, and that one thing is picking up boys.
I have never recruited trade on the tram before, but I did and it was fun. And it may well go further. Said un-named tramboy is an ex-Brisbane skinhead who went to my high school, albeit a year or two behind me. He is tattoed, and our paths have crossed many times over the years.
I am slighty amazed that I met someone who I like and who happens to identify as a gay skinhead. I always knew they existed, but my experience of skinheads in Brisbane was one of violence and nutty right-wing politics.
And the good news? The potential to fuck like a porn star is there. Grrrr!
Connex crapped itself again on Friday morning. Over the PA system at Southern Cross Station, this anouncement was made;
“Attention all passengers on Platform 11. All trains on the Williamstown, Werribbee, Sydenham, Broadmeadows and Upfield lines will be ten to fifteen minutes late. This is due to late trains.”
I don’t normally write about my life as, well it is pretty fucking boring and even I am not terribly interested in it. But something happened to me this week and I rediscovered my drive. Maybe it is because I have been watching too much porn, or maybe it is because I have realised that it has been six months since I fucked the one I truly love. But still I find the unending sadneess of being dumped by my little Tigger friend, unendingly sad. Wherever this increased horniness comes from, or whatever it was caused by, I don’t know and I don’t care. But what I do know is that I want to be lost in the rapture of love.
So if I want to fuck like a porn star and be fucked like a porn star I need to look like a porn star, which is a bit of a problem because, while I might fuck like a porn star, I don’t look like one.
Notes to self;
- Go out and find new husband,
- Improve body.
Mmmm…maybe I should go out this weekend, afterall I could always wear a girdle.
Some months ago I wrote about how much I hated the Australian Prime Minister, John Winston Howard and how I really, really wanted him to go. Two months later and that post has proved to be the most popular on this blog and much to my dismay, the little cretin is still araldited to the prime ministerial Chesterfield.
While British PM Tony Blair had the decency to honour his agreement with Chancellor Gordon Brown, the Australian PM has seen fit to ignore his agreement with Treasurer Peter Costello. And the turd remains in office. But not for much longer.
Take a long hard look at the miseries, err ministers in parliament and you can see the stench of death rise from their putrid walking corpses. They now know that nothing they say or do will save them from the humiliation of crushing electoral defeat.
The budget, which was delivered on May 8 and absolutely ponged of pork barrel is exhibit A. It was designed to boost the government’s very slim chances of winning a fifth term in office. Rupert Murdoch’s right-wing national newspaper The Australian declared it a ‘masterclass’ and while certainly every child player won a prize; fifteen dollars a week for average-waged workers, and a one-off $500 bonus for pensioners, the good people of Australia can recognise offal when they see it. Hoping against reality that they could turn the tide of Kevinism; Howard, Costello and Abbot hit the airwaves selling the unsaleable. They failed.
The latest News Poll in The Australian has seen Labor rise two percentage points to 59, with the Tories down two percentage points to 41. Significantly, it was taken two days after the budget when the good news should have sunk in. It didn’t, and last night Howard appeared on the ABC’s 7.30 Report. Quizzed about his appalling poll results by the gladiatorial Kerry O’Brien, Howard said that it maybe the well known Australian sense of humour at play. No mate, the News Poll shows that it is time to go.
Just fucking hurry up. Go now!
