Filed under: David Oldfield, One Nation Party, Pauline Hanson, Politics, Today Tonight
Racist former politician and intellectually disabled media tart, Pauline Hanson has written a hagiography in which she claims to have had intimate relations with her former advisor, and onetime, one term MLC, David Oldfield.
Oldfield has refuted these claims using the Clinton defence; “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” He has appeared on the tele, spoken on radio and been quoted as saying he didn’t fuck the red-haired fuckstick. So desperate to appear as a man in control of his organ, he supped with the devil and volunteered to undertake a lie detector test on Australia’s top rating cretin affairs programme, Today Tonight.
Now, as regular readers of oneplanetmikey will know, I detest both Toady Tonight and its regular lie detector tests as the former is a sorry and lame excuse for a television programme, and the latter are as unreliable as David Hicks’ confessing to having aided and abetted terrorism. It is therefore with reluctance and a heavy heart that I accept the claims of Hanson in that she did have sex with that man, because that man failed the Today Tonight lie detector test. When Oldfield was asked if he had sex with Pauline Hanson the examiner found his negative response “showed definite indication of being deceptive on that particular question.” So there. Two fuckwits fucked. But what does it mean?
In the scheme of things, absolutely nothing. Hanson is a failed Dancing with the Stars contestant running for the Senate in Queensland, Oldfield is jobless and supported by his wife who hosts a daytime chat show, and the One Nation Party agenda has been fully adopted by the Prime Manure, John Howard. Who had sex with who is not news, nor should it be. The real news is story the tabloids tell as they crawl further into the gutter and report on penis size and quick fucks in seedy Canberra Motels. That’s news and that should be reported.
It is hardly surprising David Hicks has pleaded guilty to “material support of terrorism.” If it had been me and I had to endure his conditions, I would have also confessed to having had lunch with Brian Burke. Hick’s plea does not equal a confession as he has been held under duress, simply by being banged up like a dog for more than five years. His confession is suspect and therefore most unreliable. In the US, the Centre for Constitutional Rights issued this statement about the plea and process. “Hick’s guilty plea should not be seen as legitimising in any way an utterly illegal system of off-shore penal colonies, abuse, and trials that violate fundamental due process rights.” By all appearances he put his hand up in guilt to escape the pain, suffering and humiliation brought bt the Americans and their 21st centurary concentration camp.
If there is a war criminal in this revolting spectacle it is he who I loathe, John Winston Howard, the prime minature of Australia. In the UK, Tony Blair refused to let his citizens appear before the military commission, due to concerns with the process and legitimacy of the commission. But no, not here. Our little Johnny Numbnut and his attorney general, cuddly Phil approved and supported this process, claiming it was needed to bring Hicks to justice. In doing so, they jumped into bed with the devil and sold an Australian for the grace and favour of George W.. It may have been expedient for the bastards to do so, but to jump into bed with the 43rd shows what little men they are.
So today David Hicks has been dished up a justice that should have been thrown out due to its vile taste.
Someone needs to hang, and it ain’t David Hicks.
Dear Ms Kosky, I am writing to you in your capacity as Minister for Transport and in my capacity as a frustrated commuter to complain about the abominable service from Connex.
I have a myriad of complaints regarding their service, and they focus mostly on delayed and cancelled trains. For example, the 7.59 from Thornbury from Flinders Street today was cancelled. The next train, the 8.11 was so crowded that it looked like it was taking people to be gassed in a concentration camp. The 8.31 train, which was highly anticipated by the people who had hung in there and waited since the cancellation of the 7.59, was also cancelled. After that I gave up and caught a tram into the city. My journey from Thornbury to Newport took 2 hours and 15 minutes. More than an hour longer than normal.
Now I understand that the heat, blackouts and defective trains being removed from service, may impact on what is already a sub-standard and un-safe service. But today exceeded my already low expectations of Connex. Quite simply it is not good enough.In regards to passenger safety I have grave concerns for the safety and wellbeing of passengers, particularly during peak times. This fear comes from considerable experience commuting and is based on the fact that, when a train is full and passengers are standing in the vestibule, there is nothing to hang on to. Apart from the roof, door or fellow-passenger breaking your fall. Should a train ever derail, brake suddenly, or lurch violently, people will be hurt. Finally Ms Kosky, as Minister for Transport I would urge you to terminate the contract of Connex immediately. It is my understanding that since privatisation, government subsidies have tripled, yet we are still waiting to see a dramatic increase in service reliability. Time and time again, Connex has failed in its basic obligations to transport the Victorian public in a safe and timely manner. It is unreliable and unsafe. I’m just glad it isn’t an airline. Should you wish me to visit Connex HQ and tell them that they are no longer required, or if you need any additional information, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Filed under: A Current Affair, Anna Coren, Media, Today Tonight, Tracey Grimshaw
This is Tracey Grimshaw. She is a tabloid hack. She is the presenter of A Current Affair. I loathe
her for it. I also equally despise Anna Corren, the presenter of the rival tabloid trash programme, Today Tonight. I have a recurring nightmare the cretins from both Today Tonight and A Current Affair are after me. In some ways I wish they were, as I have developed a strategy for when the vile hacks come knocking and I would like to see how well it works. The strategy is quite simple. Swear. Nothing else. Stand there swearing like a sweet motherfucker with big bad swearwords. Keep swearing, don’t stop, and don’t even add a conjunction. Look at the camera and yell sweetmotherfucker. The more you swear, and the faster and louder you do it, the fewer chances the attack Muppets have of asking you a question. Don’t run either. Just stand there swearing like a sweet mothefucker.
How this all works is quite simple, and while it may make you look like a complete and utter nutter, you will not get your face on the tele. Guaranteed! In tabloid current affairs the story is not the subject, but rather the reporter chasing the talent down the street – be they; love rats, fat kids (who don’t run fast), dodgy tradesmen, shonky salespersons and/or illegal immigrants. So if you are a love rat, fat kid, dodgy tradesman, shonky salesperson and/or illegal immigrant and they vile bastards from the 6.30 shows come knocking; don’t run, just stand there swearing like a motherfucker cunt, screaming sweet motherfucker cunt. The tabloid cretins wont be able to edit their reporter into the story, and so there is no story.If that doesn’t work, you could always kill them.Which reminds me of the joke. Who wins when two journalists jump off a cliff simultaneously?
Answer: Society.
To say that I hate the John Howard is an understatement. I believe the man to be a pig’s abortion of cretinous monstrosity. I have hated him with passion and vehemence for years. He has made me scream, yell and throw things at the tele. I have frothed, fulminated and threatened to move to New Zealand.I have hated Howard’s racism, economics, attacks on the union movement and his fear-mongering. He has scared the people to be afraid of the indigenous, the shirtlifters and those who do not worship his white picket fence god. He is an evil man who does not deserve to lead Australia. And it is to Australia’s great shame that he has been elected four times. Yes, I still count the 1998 election when Bomber Beazley won the two party preferred vote. And yes, I am bitter about it. Still, really bitter.I am admiring of people like Phillip Adams who have hated him as much as I. Where Mr. Adams has maintained the rage, I burnt out for brief periods. It was simply not possible for me to continue this level of hate and be a functioning grownup in the community. My burn out was different than what I had expected or experienced before as I had become the slow-boiling frog; aware that things were dire, but not caring and being comforted in the warmth of nonchalance. I had always hopped back to being the cranky frog, but there were times when I just didn’t care. It wasn’t because I did not want to; it was because I just couldn’t do it. These feelings of hopelessness had sprung from my feelings of hopelessness about the hopeless ALP. They simply could not have won with Bomber, Simon Crean or Mark Latham. I am sure they were nice men all, but they appeared tickerless, passionless or psychotic. My despair peaked (if that is at all possible) with the last crushing federal election defeat. Compounded by the election of Senator Steve Fielding of the right-wing Christian Nutters Party, Family Fist.
I held no hope for the 2007 election. Latham had taken the good fight backwards and there was too much ground for the ALP to cover in such a short election cycle. Things looked bleak until the election of Kevin Rudd as leader of the ALP. I had long supported Rudd, as I believe he is the best talker in the party. He comes across as positive, honest, with having a vision and a sense of humour.
While Rudd’s election was a positive, it was no means certain that he would be elected as the next Prime Minister of Australia as the desiccated coconut had been around long enough and was mean and tricky enough to pull a trick or two out of his pork barrel.
But something has changed during the past few weeks. And it is not the share trading scandals or ministerial dishonesty that has done it. I think Australia has finally woken up and smelt the stench of arrogance emanating from Capital Hill. That, and the fact that the good people of Australia finally have a Labor leader they can elect.
In the lead up to the 1996 election Paul Keating said to Howard across the dispatch box in Parliament House that he ‘wanted to do you slowly.’ It has taken eleven years, four ALP leaders and untold damage to the country, but finally a Labor leader is doing the desiccated coconut slowly.
I can’t wait until election night. Normally I get a bottle of vodka drink myself into forgetfulness, but not this year. No, this year will be an election of celebration. It will be lines of coke off the table and pills all round.
Now, I would really be very happy if Mr Rudd could just do Mr Howard slowly, but a little quicker.
It has been four long years folks but the war is going swimmingly and see no reason for it to end. I’m not sure who is winning, but remember folks War is Peace and the economy is booming so it ain’t half bad. The British Medical Journal The Lancet reports that 100, 000 have shuffled off this mortal coil, while 3,228 US soldiers are pushing up the daisies.
Four years ago, I walked the length of Swanston Street here in Melbourne. I was not alone, as there were about 200, 000 other folk with me. There were men in suits, pensioners with walkers, young people, old people, the shirtlifters and the shirtlifted. We were a unified force. The march was supposed to e from the State Library to Federation Square, a distance of about 2km. But the march was less of a march, because the crowd that turned up stretched from the State Library to Federation Square.But it didn’t matter. We went to war and people died. We the people were ignored. The war went on and more people died. And the war will continue to go on and people will continue to die because we the people are ignored.
So Happy Birthday to the War and good luck to everyone else, because we are going to need it. Bush, Blair and Howard have sold us short. History will sell them even shorter.
Sometimes songs just sink in.
New Order’s Blue Monday is one such song.
I wish I wrote it.
So how does it make me feel? Happy, I guess.
It is the undercurrent of something else that makes me feel like I do.
Yeah, it makes me feel good. And no, I’m not mistaken.
How does it feel
To treat me like you do
When youve laid your hands upon me
And told me who you are
I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Dear Ms Kosky
On January 17, 2007 I wrote to you about Crapex and the disgraceful state of Victoria’s public transport system. It is disappointing to note that since then very little has changed.
While more trains are running more often and while the level of lateness and cancellations has reduced, they have become so overcrowded I am now expecting Crapex to make its fuller-figured passengers diet.
Already this week I have had to stand on the platform and wave goodbye as the 8.11 am Thornbury to Flinders Street train was incapable of squeezing just one more sardine onto the tin, err train.
And today, once again passengers were left behind. This time it was the 7.59 am train which was absolutely chokers by the time it arrived at Thornbury station. Those lucky enough to squeeze in made friends and potentially babies with the nice folk from the northern suburbs.
Once on board we were treated to a somewhat funny journey as the train arrived at station after station and potential commuters ran up and down the platform looking for the least crowded carriage to try and jump on. The look of disappointment on the faces of those left behind was amusing to me because of my smugness at being able to catch the train of my choice. I would have laughed, but with space at a premium there is absolutely no room for breathing let alone a hearty guffaw or chuckle.
Being stuck in the vestibule and unable to move at all, I could only count the number of people in front and to the side of me. There were twenty-three, with perhaps another ten behind me. Now, I am a nice guy. My mother likes me and despite what some people say, I am quite friendly. However, this degree of friendliness on a daily basis is draining.
I am writing to you today to beg you to ask Connex to schedule more peak hour trains between Epping and the City each morning. Between 7 am and 8 am currently there are only four. As this corridor is rapidly growing in population I would suggest that this is a woefully inadequate level of service for the population it supposedly serves.
Yours sincerely
Michael
Today Tonight and its equally moronic cousin A Current Affair are television programmes made by cretins for cretins. Quite simply, both programmes are disgraceful and should be yanked from the air.This latest flurry of fulmination from both camps over the means used to gather a story, ignore the fact that both programmes have a history of using deceit and omission to present whatever contrived outrage they desire. This week it is the Corby family; next week it will be crack-whores and the single mother with two babies to twelve different fathers.
Ms Meade and Mr Day write that Ms Coren said she had no qualms using Colin Chapman’s evidence as he was a private detective and had no obligation to be ethical.
Well Ms Coren, that it the biggest load of bollocks I have read in ages. You as a current affairs presenter have an obligation to be ethical, and to say that you don’t because the person who did the dirty work was a private dick and not a journalist is not only laughable but also contemptible. The simple fact is Colin Chapman was paid by Seven to dig dirt. And when he did, to put the lame and tawdry report to air and then say it wasn’t us it was someone else, is just simply appalling.
In the US, the 6.30 programmes are the network news bulletins. They aspire to serious journalism and are well resourced and bring in significant advertising dollars. It is about time that at 6.30 we aspired to something more lofty than the crud that is presented and which sees me reaching for the remote control to switch to the SBS World News.
The best way forward is for the Australian Communications Authority to require one hour of quality news and current affairs programming between 6 and 8pm nightly. I would also suggest that as an immediate fix, instead of Media Watch giving the right of reply to those who already tub-thump and moan on the airwaves, that they give the victims of the 6.30 monstrosities a right of reply.
Remember these shows kill people. Many people will remember the tradesman who hanged himself after A Current Affair exposed him as a shonk. It is about time they became accountable for their actions and reports.
